


For My Broken Heart

by LostButterflyUtau



Category: Elena of Avalor (Cartoon)
Genre: Broken marriage, Gen, Heartache, Heartbreak, Implied Gababel, Implied Gabaomi, Mirror World AU, Rejection, Sad Ending, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:40:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24636229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LostButterflyUtau/pseuds/LostButterflyUtau
Summary: A collection of mostly song-inspired drabbles from  alternate versions of the "Mirror World AU" in which Carla and Gabe have to work through the loss of their respective "Happy Ever Afters."
Comments: 4
Kudos: 5





	1. True Love

**Author's Note:**

> This is not a steady, ongoing project. It is merely a small collection of drabbles I write when I'm sad and in the mood for angst. It provides an interesting challenge in writing strong negative emotions since I'm usually writing fluff and happy endings.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "If I could do it all over, maybe I'd do it different...Maybe I wouldn't be here in this position." 
> 
> If she had taken the chance and been strong enough to embrace her feelings earlier, maybe he wouldn't have had time to fall for someone else. Or maybe, it just wasn't meant to be all along. After all, why WOULD the Captain of the Guard want a former criminal?

* * *

_Feelin’ it all around me_

_Wonderin’ how I blew it_

_And I wanna know the secret_

_Of how they… do it_

_No such thing as perfection_

_I’m still learning that lesson_

_To forgive is key to forgetting me_

_And I’m staring at my reflection_

_And I coulda had it all_

_Coulda had it all…_

* * *

Naomi was right. The Norberg lights _were_ beautiful. Shimmering colours took over the previously bleak sky, streaks of green, blue and purple dancing alongside with the stars.

So, why couldn’t she enjoy them?

That was a dumb question. Carla knew _exactly_ why she couldn’t. Tradition said that they were meant to be watched with “someone special” but the _one_ person she would have wanted to share them with had been literally dragged away as soon as they arrived. Not that he knew she felt that way. Or rather, she hoped he didn’t. Heck, it had taken weeks for her to even admit to _herself_ that she had those feelings. And she still hadn't mustered up the strength to tell any of her girl friends, nonetheless him. Some days, she wanted so much to just tell him and get it over with. Others, she cursed her emotions _and_ him for making her feel the way she did. She had always been confident around boys before, but something about _him_ twisted all of that around and she hated it.

Most of the time.

Carla pulled her knees up to her chest, took a moment to glance over at both Naomi and her parents before turning back to the water and staring at the colours shifting over it. She thought briefly about leaving. After all, there wasn’t much here for her. While she appreciated Elena inviting her along and giving her a new outfit and had enjoyed seeing a kingdom she’d never been to before, she felt out of place now. Everyone else on the dock was either coupled up or with their families. She and Naomi were the only ones flying solo. Though, at least Naomi had her family. She was the only one who was truly alone. All of her friends were still back home enjoying their break, and while she’d written him, she hadn’t seen her father in weeks. And goodness knows where Elena had wandered off to.

She sighed as she made her decision and shifted with the intent to stand, only to stop when the sound of approaching footsteps crossed her ears. She paused, turned to the source and silently gasped at the familiar face.

“Gabe,” She murmured, felt her heartrate picking up as he approached and then, immediately, silently scolded herself for it, tried to remind herself that it was “just Gabe.” However, she couldn’t help the way her face warmed at the thought that he had come back. For her. At least, she hoped that’s why he was there. She hadn’t seen him much during this visit due to being dragged into various tasks by Elena, but now that they did have a free moment, was he was choosing to seek _her_ out? She held in a giggle at the thought of sitting close to him underneath the colourful sky, of maybe finally taking her chances as she scooted in closer and… Her thoughts trailed off when he simply gave her a smile as he carefully stepped past her…

… And over to _Naomi_.

Her heart sank. She toyed with her bracelet, tried to tell herself that it was fine. That it just wasn’t meant to be. Not tonight. She would get her chance another day. Maybe when she’d had more time to plan. And, after all, Naomi was his friend too. He was allowed to want to spend time with her. But then, she stopped, bit her lip when saw the way they looked at each other.

Carla wasn’t stupid. She’d seen it all before, in both the various novels she’d read over the years and the movies she saw over in the Mirror World. None of it was simple, friendly gestures. There were feelings there in the shy, yet prominent affection in both their gazes and the warm, knowing smiles they exchanged as Naomi delicately tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

Of course, he didn’t like her. Not the way she liked him. Why would he? It’s not like she was anything special. Not only had he known Naomi longer, but she was a fairly respected member of the Avaloran Court and a Grand Councilwoman. And what was she? A malvaga apprentice who barely had a grasp on her dark magic mixed with the remnants of a former thief that many people still looked at suspiciously whenever she visited. Sure, she was a decent student, a good party planner and a Princess of Harmony, but what did that matter to Gabe? He never saw those things. How could he when she didn’t even live there full time? Naomi did. And she was always working on projects and helping to better the kingdom while Carla was off flitting around in the Mirror World, going to slumber parties and worrying about her next Chemistry exam. 

Still, despite knowing all of that… It still hurt. It felt like her heart had shattered into a million pieces. She had never felt so strongly about any man before and now, the first time she dared to let those feelings in, he picked someone else. She always knew it was a possibility. As Captain of the Guard, he could have any woman he wanted. She was sure there was a line of girls who would give anything to get just a date with him, and not just because of the position or his good looks. Gabe was a genuinely good person. Beyond the tough demeanour he often put on, he was so gentle, and careful of other people around him. She knew he had a big soft spot for his friends and family. One that she hoped would include her someday as she held to her secret dreams of them being together -- of going on dates and dancing together at festivals, of having her first kiss – and many more -- underneath the stars and taking long walks through the garden, of snuggling on the sofa on rainy days and baking together in the kitchen… But, now she knew.

She wasn’t actually a princess.

And this wasn’t her fairytale.

It wasn’t even a novel.

It was reality.

And in reality, she was never going to be the heroine. 

With another sigh, and one last, sideways glance, she finally stood, wrapping her arms around herself as she stalked off and ignoring Naomi when she turned and called after her. It wasn’t her business where she was going. Not that she even knew where that was. Besides, she knew that if she tried to answer, her voice would crack. Then they’d worry about her and she didn’t want to have to explain why she was so upset. Not to them. Not now. Not _ever._ She supposed she could brush it off if asked but she didn’t think her acting skills were enough this time. And she didn’t want to risk it.

There wasn’t any way for her to get back to the palace right away, so she kept walking until she came to a relatively quiet area of the dock. She glanced around, saw only a few people wandering about – none of which paid her any mind, and sneakily slipped between what she figured were empty shipping crates.

Once she was out of sight, Carla turned away from the lights and took a breath in a poor attempt to force back her own emotions, but it only ended up making it worse as slid down against one of the crates and onto the hardwood. Just as she had done earlier, she pulled her knees up and then set her head down on them as she gave in and finally, silently, started to cry.

How could she have misread the signals that badly? Especially after years and years of learning how to flirt her way into any man’s heart and toy with their emotions while closing off her own. Looking back, she now knew that she’d let her feelings cloud her judgement form the beginning. Of course that dance at the Navidad Festival hadn’t meant anything! Not once he realised that it was just _her_ he was talking to. She swore she had felt something that night. That they had a chance to be something more, but… She was wrong. She’d thought about that moment a lot. How, in it, she had let herself start to fall for him and how she had only fallen harder and harder since then.

How could she have been so _stupid_? Every heart-pounding moment, every small glance in her direction…It was _nothing_. Nothing but a foolish girl letting a crush evolve too far. She wanted to kick herself for letting herself fall into such a position. She cried harder as the memories came back in droves. 

That time he told her that she was worth more than a five after Jeremy and his jerktourage had gone around rating all the girls in school… Was it a lie? Or did he just feel sorry for her? Did he only agree to take her to that dance out of pity? She couldn’t believe it. _Her_ \-- Carla Delgado – the girl who used to be feared and revered by many, who had worked so hard to change that image and show that she could be so much more – reduced to a _pity date_. She didn’t want to be _anyone’s_ pity date. She wanted… Well, she _thought_ she wanted romance. The kind that she always read about. But, if the opposite of it was _this_ , then it wasn’t worth it.

Perhaps those boys had been right all along. No man would ever look twice at a girl like her. When compared to someone like Naomi, who had not only a range of skills, but an actual figure and a _likable_ personality, she had nothing. She always knew she was small, but now knew it was more than an inconvenience that made shopping difficult, it was a detriment. No one wanted to risk asking out the girl who looked like a freshman. She had no figure to speak of, something she had always tried to hide with wide sashes and fitted dresses. Then there was the fact that her eyes were such a strange colour, the dull, disturbing violet so unlike the pretty, bright blue that Naomi’s were. No wonder Gabe wanted her. On top of all that, she was far more athletic and adventurous than Carla had ever been. Sure, she was an excellent dancer, but would also rather be practicing with her makeup palettes or taking a long bath than join in on an olaball court. Naomi was firm and feisty, but agreeable and funny. Carla was all attitude and could never tell a proper joke. They were opposites in almost every way. It made sense that Gabe would pick her instead.

She just wished it didn’t make so much sense. At least then she’d be able to be angry. That was a feeling she knew all too well. Instead, she was just… _lonely_. She had always had a soft spot in her heart for romance. Always dreamed of being able to live out a real-life love story. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew it was unlikely. Until she turned it all around, she had lived under the impression that she would get married eventually. But not to someone she truly, deeply loved. That kind of thing didn’t exist in the criminal world she came from. Her parents had been an exception. A beautiful, glittering exception. One that she now knew she would never have. In fact, the only thing she really, truly knew…

…Was that there was a reason that they call it a _crush_.

* * *

_If I knew then what I do now_

_I’d be with you tonight_

_If I knew then what I do now_

_We’d be alright_


	2. The Invitation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set seven years after "True Love," Carla is 25 and having to cope with a second wave of rejection.

Carla stared down at the invitation in her hand, read it over for what felt like the hundredth time as if doing so would finally help her comprehend what she was reading. She knew there had been someone else. At least, that’s what _part_ of her thought at the time. The other part hope that maybe he was just trying to deflect her attention for awhile. That maybe he was still hung up on Naomi’s departure and needed more time to think. But, that had only been a passing thought. Deep down, she was aware that it was the truth. He never told anything less. Still…

She sighed, let herself fall into the sofa. It wasn’t fair. Why was it that, just when she had finally started to come around, when she was just beginning to feel _okay_ again, that this had to come? She couldn’t blame Elena for sending it. She didn’t know. Carla had intended to tell her seven years ago, but after the disaster that was her first – and last – trip to Norberg, she hid it from everyone until Snow finally coaxed it out of her after prom. She still had no idea how her friend always managed to do it, but she had a way of getting people to open up even when they’d locked up their mouths and emotions tight. Then again, she _was_ the element of kindness.

Carla shook the thought off, sighed again as she brought her head down to her hands and the memories came flooding back to her. Memories she had tried so hard to supress over the past year and half. Unfortunately, no matter what she did… How many songs she sang… How many dates she went on… It just kept coming back.

She remembered that fateful night all too well.

Remembered how, overcome with the bliss of her wedding, Anna encouraged her to try chasing her own romance again. Write that love story she always wanted to have. After all, it had been some time since Naomi left. Maybe now would be her chance. At the very least, she could try for a date. So, she did. She recalled penning out that letter. How she’d typed up at least ten different versions before settling on one and then writing it out with her favourite pen on her best stationary. The fluttery feeling that first appeared when she slipped it under his office door and then returned when she stood in front of the mirror in her best purple dress. She had done everything right. Coordinated her makeup, chosen a hairstyle that framed her face, even bought a new perfume. It was going to be _her night_. Or so she thought.

Even as she waited outside of the restaurant, she was doing all she could to hide the mix of excitement and nerves that slowly turned to doubt when he set his eyes on her and his face fell. She read right away that it wasn’t her he wanted to see, and her heart first cracked and then shattered when he finally said the words she hoped she’d never hear him say.

_“I don’t like you like that.”_

But he hadn’t stopped there. Not only did he admit that he didn’t feel for her in any way, he also, albeit reluctantly, confessed that there was someone else. And that hint of joy in his eyes when he mentioned it, when she knew he was thinking about her, only broke her more. He saw it. Tried to repair it. Told her that he was sure she’d eventually find her special someone. But, it didn’t help. Because it was a completely lie. Truth was, she had already found her someone. He just… Didn’t want her back.

She walked away that night feeling worse than she’d ever felt. It hurt even more than the night in Norberg. Being rejected once was one thing. She managed to figure that out. But to have it happen twice? And with the same guy?

After that, she just wanted to feel… _something_. She ended up dialling one of her acquaintances hoping to take out some of the stress on him, but it only made her feel worse. Worse than worse. She felt… dirty. Unwanted. Hopeless. And it was from that point on, she cracked. She gave up on her fantasies. The universe… _both_ universes had made it clear that romance would never be in her cards.

She never even bothered to ask who the other girl was. She simply pushed the thought and her life on the other side of the Mirror behind. Sure, she still wrote from time to time. Even secretly dropped off gifts for birthdays and holidays. But she couldn’t make herself go back there. Not when she knew that there would be someone else hanging off his arm. And who that was, she didn’t want to know.

But now she did. And all she could think to do was put her head in her hands and cry as the paper fell to the floor, the engagement announcement printed clearly in an elegant script along with the one name that never left her mind – _Captain Gabriel Nunez_ – and the one she never expected to see joined with it – _Princess Isabel Castillo Flores_.


	3. Wrong Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part of the Mirror World AU's "Wrong Again" timeline. 
> 
> "What we had would never end. Wrong again." 
> 
> In a different timeline, four years after the dissolution of her marriage, Carla (now 32), is faced with the task of letting go of the last remnants of happiness past as the man she once loved moves on with someone else.

* * *

_I knew…_

_This time I had finally found_

_Someone to build my life around_

_Be a lover and a friend_

_After all my heart_

_Had put me through_

_I knew that it was safe with you_

_What we had would never end_

_Wrong again_

* * *

It was supposed to have been the first day of forever. A public declaration of love that they promised to carry for the rest of their lives. The lyrics of their wedding song had even read, _I’m gonna love you for the rest of my life_. But she never expected that the rest of her life would only encompass a few years.

Seven blissful years filled with soft kisses, tight hugs, midnight dances and walks through town. Birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, and festivals. Highs, lows, and magical foes. It was a marriage so filled with love and life. Until it wasn’t.

And now, it was time to let the last part of that life go.

Today all of her friends were celebrating, as they should. It wasn’t every day that there was a royal wedding. Of course, it wasn’t as grand as Elena’s. Neither Isabel nor Gabe wanted it to be that way. At least, that’s what she figured. After all, back when planning _their_ wedding Gabe had wanted to keep it small. Private. Intimate.

Carla wondered for a moment how he felt about all of the attention. He was used to some of it as Captain of the Guard. But now he was both Captain and a soon-to-be Prince. If that’s how that worked. She wasn’t completely sure. Nor did she care enough to look into it. If she had her way, she wouldn’t have to face another word about them again. But, unfortunately, it was all over the papers and all anyone had talked about for weeks. There was so much speculation on what it would be like. What kind of dress would Isa wear? How many attendants would she have? Trivial things that had seemed so important when she was the bride.

But now…?

She sighed, finished tying off her hair. Deep brown eyes stared back at her, the colour both beautiful and sad. Sure, they made her look better. But part of her hated that she now hated the violet colour she grew up loving and being praised for. It felt almost like a betrayal to the mother who’d gifted them to her. But, on the other end, she got a lot more date requests now. Maybe that client had been right in that violet _was_ weird and off-putting. Or maybe it was because she was just getting better at hiding that constant pang in her heart. The one that told her she wasn’t good enough. That she would never be good enough again. No man wanted a ‘used woman.’ Especially not one that couldn’t give him more than herself.

One last look in the mirror confirmed that she was done. Every hair perfectly in place. Makeup soft and subtle and not at all noticeable. At the thought, her eyes flicked over to the drawer that contained her more colourful palettes. The ones she hadn’t touched in what felt like forever. Not since her birthday. And that was only because Fortuna insisted on doing her makeup in another vain attempt to cheer her up.

She couldn’t blame her. She knew it had to be frustrating when someone you cared so much about seemingly _refused_ to be happy. But the thing was, it wasn’t a refusal. More than anything, she wanted to be happy and had been making progress up until Elena had showed up to give her the news of the engagement.

It wasn’t unexpected. Not really. Just a few months earlier she’d turned up to reveal that Gabe was dating her sister, having wanted to tell her before the papers did. She’d learned to live with he idea of them dating. But engagement? Marriage? That was like a punch to the gut and confirmed her worst fears. That it was really, truly over. He wasn’t coming back. And while she wasn’t even sure she ever wanted him to, the thought still hurt.

All she could do now was hope that his second wife could give him what she couldn’t and that they would be happy. As hurt as she was, she refused to wish ill on him. He deserved to be happy. Even if it wasn’t with her.

With another long sigh, Carla set the brush down, opened the drawer directly underneath her hand. From it, she pulled the last portrait. She wasn’t entirely sure why she’d kept it for so long after destroying the others. Perhaps she was still clinging to the hope of returning to that stage? Or she was too afraid of letting go? Could she just be too held up in the memories of happiness past to have been able to keep it for so long? Whatever the reason, she was over it now. With an all-too familiar pang, she willed her magic to flow up within her and, with a snap of her fingers set fire to the picture. She stared for a minute, watched their smiling faces slowly dissolve and then let it fall onto the table. The magic flame she conjured wouldn’t burn anything but what she willed it upon, so she was content to let it burn out on its own as she stood and finally snatched the box up off her bed.

* * *

When she made her way downstairs and into the shop, she tried to keep her steps quiet. She wasn’t in a mood to face anyone. She had already made up her mind and no one was going to change it.

Unfortunately, instead of being in the front of the store like she expected, her stepmother was right near the foot of the steps hovering around a dress form and muttering to herself about the costume hanging off of it. It was something brought in by the director of a local theatre production. A hand-me-down that needed some serious restoration.

Still, despite her being right there, Carla hoped she could slip by. All she needed to do was –

“Carla?” Fortuna asked without looking up, her voice breaking Carla’s thought process.

Carla wanted to kick herself. Of _course_ she wouldn’t be able to get around her. As concentrated as she seemed, Fortuna was still aware of what was around her at all times. She supposed spending years on her own as a single woman was responsible for that.

When Carla didn’t answer, Fortuna quickly secured the hem and stood upright, taking the pin that was between her teeth and setting it on the stand beside her. She looked up, eyes moving from Carla’s face to the large garment box in her hand, immediately knowing what it meant. She took in a breath as she stepped over, set a gentle hand on the smaller woman’s shoulder.

“Are you _sure_ you want to do this?” She asked, searching her eyes for any sign of resistance or hesitation, and finding only that same lingering sadness that continued to break her heart. She wanted more than anything for her stepdaughter to be _okay_. Maybe not jumping around with joy, but at least content in some way.

Carla closed her eyes, took in a deep breath to stave off the tears she felt welling up. She wanted to scream that of course she didn’t want to do this. This dress had meant so much to her. It had been custom made by a close friend. The symbol of her first day of forever. What she really wanted was to turn back the clock. To undo all of the pain. The loneliness. The long nights staring into an empty sky with Cleo as her only company. But she couldn’t. All she _could_ do was try and keep going forward, even if it meant giving up something that had once held so much meaning but was now nothing more than a fragment of days past and a symbol of a failed love.

Finally, she nodded, confessed, “No. But I _have_ to.”

Fortuna didn’t respond, only wrapped her arms around Carla. She understood all too well what she meant. Maybe not from personal experience, but from all of those long nights talking and getting her to open up at least somewhat. Even four years on it was complicated for her. While she was sure there wasn’t any more love there for her ex-husband, she also knew there wasn’t hatred. Hurt, but not hatred.

When she pulled back, the older woman gave a sympathetic smile. One that said, along with the understanding look in her gaze, that she got it. She leaned in, gently kissed her head, and moved to turn back to her work as Carla continued on and quietly slipped out the door and down the street.

Along the way, she tried her best to keep her mind only on her task. All around her it seemed like all anyone could talk about was the wedding happening that day. Little girls in tiaras. Older women gossiping about the outcome of such a marriage. Bridal shops feeding off the hype with sales and specials. In another life, she might have joined in. As a child she loved the idea of having a fairy-tale wedding and finding her one true love. But now that she’d done both and ultimately failed in the aftermath of the fairy-tale, it was all reminders of a life before disillusionment. One she wished she could go back to even as she pulled on the handle of the door of the shop she’d passed by so many times but only now had a reason to walk into.

She was greeted with a warm welcome and a wide smile by the older woman behind the counter.

“How can I help?” She asked when Carla finally stepped up, set the box on the counter.

Carla put on her best smile, slid the box over, “I’m just here to give you this.” She took her hand to her hair, fingers idly fiddling with the ribbon on her side ponytail as she waited and watched as the woman opened the box she hadn’t opened in years, a small gasp leaving her lips when she caught sight of the intricate detailing before finally, carefully pulling the dress from it and holding it out.

“Are you _sure_ about this?” The lady asked, shooting Carla a concerned glance. The dress was gorgeous. One of the most beautiful she’d ever seen. She quickly realised that it _had_ to have been handmade with care. This wasn’t an ordinary commission. The hand-sewn detail put into it was the mark of a personal touch. And beyond the dress itself, even she could see the hesitation on Carla’s face. It was about more than her wanting to do a nice thing, she knew.

Carla only nodded, continued to play with her ribbon. “I… Don’t need it anymore.”

The woman’s smile turned sympathetic, “Well, if you change your mind, I’ll give you a week to come back. That’ll give you some time to think while I prepare it for display.”

“Thank you, but I don’t plan on it,” Carla replied as she turned to head back out. She appreciated the idea of having a period to think it over, but she had made her decision before even reaching for the door. If she was ever going to go forward from this point, she _had_ to let go of her past, as painful as it was.

She managed to hold it together long enough to make her way back home and up to her room. But, once she saw the small pile of ash on her vanity where the portrait had been, she gave in and slid down the wall with a defeated sob.

* * *

_And they said,_

_“There’s nothing you can do.”_

_“It’s something that he’s going through.”_

_“Happens to a lot of men.”_

_And I…_

_Told myself that they were right_

_That you’d wake up and see the light_

_And I’d just have to wait_

_‘Til then_

_Wrong again_


	4. Still in Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part of the Mirror World AU's "Wrong Again" timeline. 
> 
> Written for the EoA appreciation week prompt of the same name, the beach used to be a fun place. Sun, sand, laughter... memories. Now, a year after the dissolution of her marriage, Carla only finds reminders of what used to be.

* * *

_We walked side-by-side_

_Leaving footprints in the sand_

_Now only my footsteps remain_

_When the tide rolls in_

_Now time is moving_

_Faster than before_

_And now we can’t even_

_Seem to find the shore_

* * *

Carla stared down at her still-untouched wine glass as the chatter around her continued. Somehow, the conversation had gone from frustrations regarding recent events at work to plans for Lila’s wedding. From the bits and pieces she was picking up, Carla learned that Lila wanted something big and extravagant on the beach they were currently camped out on. It wasn’t what she would have picked, but then again, what did she know? It didn’t matter how beautiful her wedding had been. Not when it was nothing more than a memory long gone.

She flicked her eyes up briefly, the reality of the situation setting in as, with a quick glance around the fire, she realised she was the only single person in the group. It was the same when she hung out with her friends, most of whom were married and, if they didn’t already have children, were talking about having them. But these people weren’t her friends. They were just colleagues. People she _had_ to associate with due to her job. It wasn’t that she minded. Not really. They were nice enough both on and off the clock and had been more than helpful in getting her into the swing of things during the first wedding she assisted with, but they also weren’t her _friends._

With a silent sigh, Carla set down her glass and grabbed her shoes, keeping them in her hand as she stood. Luckily, no one said anything. In fact, she’d wager they didn’t even notice. Not that she expected them to. She had only agreed to come because of how nice they’d been in inviting her. For a moment, she wondered if her mask had started to crack. Did they finally notice how fake her smiles were? Or how she avoided questions about “true love” when brides asked?

One last look back at the group around the fire told her that no, they didn’t notice she’d moved. Nor did she think they had any inkling of the mess she hid with cute dresses, ribbons, headbands, and professional smiles. On the one hand, it spoke to her acting skills, something she’d not only spent years perfecting, but had recently put into practice through a side gig at the local theatre. On the other, not having anyone to talk to only brought to the surface the loneliness she worked so hard to bury each and every morning as her reflection stared back at her, eyes filled with a lingering sadness that she had yet to come to terms with.

It had been a rough year since she signed the papers and took off. After that night it was a few months before Elena finally tracked her down to reconnect, something that she was grateful for. Initially, she thought she would be fine on her own -- and she was, in a sense. It took weeks to secure both her jobs, but she luckily had saved up and brought enough money to cover the rent on her little cottage on the water. In truth, she probably didn’t even need the two jobs, but she liked working. As hard as it was to spend hours a week looking over and discussing wedding plans while rehearsing for her bit parts and helping out at the theatre, it kept her busy and gave her more to focus on than her thoughts. Those first few weeks were _miserable_. All she remembered about them was unpacking interspersed with bouts of what felt like endless crying as she grappled with her new reality and trashed much of her old one.

Carla stopped, took in a breath as she tilted her head up towards the sky to look over the stars, the smallest of smiles forming when one shined back at her. She liked to think it was her mother telling her that it was _okay_. Her conflicted and complicated feelings were more than valid. She then turned from the sky to the path ahead.

Luckily, the group had settled in a place not far from her home, so she was able to escape when she did without worrying about how she’d get back. It wasn’t right in her backyard, but she didn’t mind the walk. The location was beautiful, and she considered herself lucky to have found such a nice place at a reasonable price, which she figured was probably due to how isolated it was from the city.

_Isolated. Alone. Solitary._

Different words that all held the same meaning and said exactly how she felt. It was almost like when she was younger and being moved around from place to place with only her father for company, ‘ _almost’_ being the key word. This time, it hit so much harder. Back then, loneliness was the only thing she’d known. She even believed at one point that she didn’t need or want friends. But now that she’d experienced having not only them, but a bigger family who was there for her alongside her father and the fairy-tale romance she had always dreamed of as a child – or, rather, what she had _believed_ was the fairy-tale romance of her dreams – it was hard to steel herself back to accepting a life of solitude.

She supposed that she hadn’t truly lost _all_ of those things. It was true that her relationship with Gabe would never recover in any shape or form, no matter how much she still loved him, but she did still have her other friends. Sort of. Moving across the kingdom meant that she rarely saw anyone from her old life in person. They mostly just wrote from time to time and she wrote back, which she preferred. It was so much easier to lie in her letters and play things off. But she also knew deep down that those relationships wouldn’t be the same as they were before. Everyone was grown now with families of their own. Well, almost everyone. Both Naomi and Moana revelled in their singleness. Neither were in a rush to settle and both loved their chosen ventures. And that was fine. Fortuna had been the same and even marriage didn’t faze her. Her stepmother was still as headstrong as ever, which Carla figured was one of the things that drew Victor to her.

Carla took in a shaky breath in an attempt to ward off the tears that always came at night. She wished so much that she could be the same. That she could be okay with being ‘single and free’ and ready to jet off at a moment’s notice. But she wasn’t. She couldn’t be. She _wanted_ a relationship. And now she had almost none of any kind. Her friends were barely in her life anymore and she doubted they would ever be again. Not because they didn’t care, but because they had their own lives. This mess was _hers_.

Mostly.

As she trudged on, vaguely aware of the familiar feel of the sand against her feet, she thought not for the first time about how _he_ was handling it all. She wanted to hate him. God knows she did. It would be so much easier to just be _mad_. To kick and scream and throw her rage into the ocean in front of her. But she wasn’t.

“Why?” She said to herself, kicked at the sand. “Why couldn’t we make it better? I tried. I _really_ did.”

Carla sighed again, dropped her shoes so she could free her hand, using it instead to help climb her way up onto the large rock she’d stopped in front of. It was a place she was attracted to shortly after arriving. One to just sit and relax and dip her feet in the water without the annoyance of sand in her dress. Once she reached the flat surface at the top, she brushed it off with her hand and took her usual place. She gave a fleeting glance up to that star again as she reached into her pocket before turning her attention to the locket in her hand.

“Mama, I know I ask this a lot, but does it ever get better? When do I stop loving him and start loving _myself_? That’s what used to happen in my books,” She looked up again, turned her focus back to that star and, with shaky breath, gave in and let the silent tears fall.

She used to spend hours poring over romance books and dreaming about what her ‘Happy Ever After’ would look like. Stories littered with cliched plots and characters that provided nothing more than an escape from her rough-and-tumble lifestyle. She knew they were stupid and cheesy and mostly fake, but she had loved it at one point. It had been a long time since she even picked up one of those novels. The last time it wasn’t even to read them. It was to pack them away with the other belongings she had shipped to Nueva Vista. She hadn’t opened them since, but also didn’t have the heart to give them up or throw them out. Not yet. There were too many good memories intertwined with those pages.

She’d instead starting reading books about magic – which she studied almost religiously – and adventure and whatever her friends sent her way. Anything to get away from the lies about true love and eternal happiness.

“I don’t get it,” Carla found herself saying as she kicked at the water. “ _You_ and Papa found it. Heck, Papa even found it again.” She frowned at herself for even entertaining the idea that, if he could learn to love again, maybe she could too because she knew she couldn’t. Papa was different. He was widowed and had his daughter to focus on after his wife’s death. What happened was no one’s fault. And while it hurt him deeply, it was also a special circumstance. He hadn’t been neglected and then dumped and forced to start all over while having the stigma of a broken marriage on his back. Something she hid from absolutely _everyone_ that wasn’t in her inner circle.

As far as her colleagues knew, she was a single lady who’d never been married and, though she tried, just hadn’t found “the one.” Her only one.

She reached up at the thought, wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her cardigan. A person only got one chance at having _the one_. Their one big love. The kind of whirlwind romance described so often in novels. Others may come and go, but there would always be that one. The one you always remembered and held onto years later, if only in your heart. She was so sure she’d had it. After all they had been through before and after marriage, there was no way it was all a fluke.

She kicked the water again, looked up and out at the ocean. She couldn’t see much, only a few waves dancing in the moonlight with the occasional blip of shimmer that told her there were Sirenas out and about. Though she didn’t often talk to them – or anyone outside of her work colleagues for that matter – she saw them a lot. The same rock she was currently sitting on was a favourite spot of theirs as well and there’d been many a morning where she’d stepped out on her back porch to see two or three of them sitting and conversing. It was something that – if she had more talent in that area – would make a great painting. She saw it so clearly in her mind. The sun, the sea and the fun air popping off the canvas and adding a stark contrast to the dark vastness she often stared at in these moments.

What used to be as much fun for her simply wasn’t anymore. At one time, the beach was a happy place. The sound of the waves was both an excellent lullaby and a calm reminder of what used to be. The last time she’d visited for more than a moment of contemplation was over a year ago.

Carla recalled waking up that day with high hopes and smiling as she wrote out the message detailing her plan. She hoped and _prayed_ that it would work. It _had_ to work. The beach was a special place for them. One filled with laughter and light and memories of picnics and sunset walks. Unfortunately, she found that hope wasn’t enough. After waiting for _two hours_ , she picked herself back up and trudged home. It wasn’t until days later that she found out that while he received her note, he never read it. Or any of the ones she’d sent over the past few weeks. She remembered so clearly the way she felt the cracks in her heart growing as she stared down at the stack of envelopes Armando had given her. He hadn’t meant to find them. He’d actually been searching for another document when he opened that desk drawer by chance. Not that she ever blamed him. He was just the messenger. In fact, she was glad that he said something. Then she knew to stop writing them. She never confronted her husband though. Didn’t see a point in it, really. It wasn’t until she made up her mind to leave that she bundled up the letters and tied them together, leaving them with the signed dissolution paper as a last trace of her presence.

She gave another heavy sigh, wiped her face a second time before finally shifting to climb down. As hard as it was to come by some nights, she needed to sleep. It was getting late and she had an early morning rehearsal before working a bridal shower the next afternoon.

Once on the ground, she swiped up her shoes, turned to head up the path home, looking back only once to see the single set of footprints in the sand and wishing, not for the first or last time, that she could turn things back to when there were two.

* * *

_So, tell me…_

_Why can’t we make it better?_

_Because all that I know_

_Is found in you_

_I’m missing your love_

_I’m missing your face_

_All of our past…_

_You let it erase_


	5. Sorry for Loving You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part of the Mirror World AU's "Wrong Again" timeline. 
> 
> It had only been a few hours since he woke up and found her gone. Nothing left but a ring, a letter and a signed dissolution. Despite the pain, Gabe knows that life has to go on. But merely acknowledging it and acting upon it are two different things. Especially when the pain is your own fault.

* * *

_Girl, I was so wrong to make you_

_Promises I knew_

_I couldn’t give you_

_‘Cause I made you believe_

_That I’d always be_

_The one to give you_

_All your hopes and your dreams_

* * *

As much as he didn’t want to, Gabe knew he had to get _some_ work done. He’d never be able to hide what had just happened if he didn’t stick to his routine. They’d done a good job of keeping people out of it so far and he wasn’t about to break that streak, even if it meant forcing himself through paperwork with his heart in shambles.

He sighed to himself as he turned the key in his office door. It was the first time in a long time he’d be going in as a “free man.” Well, sort of one. He still had to take the dissolution to the public records office and have it stamped and filed. Yet, he knew that, even after doing so, he wouldn’t feel free. Not in the sense that people typically used the phrase. Sure, he’d be without a wife and a ring, but not without the grief that came from losing those things. Grief he would be chained to for a long while.

Unlike with their – no, _his_ – quarters, where it took him weeks to notice things disappearing, he noticed the changes in the office as soon as he entered.

She’d let the flowers wilt. Usually, she would have changed the vase out with something new and blooming from Luisa’s garden, but this time all he saw were dry, stiff petals lying lifeless on the table. An all too fitting metaphor.

The portraits on the wall were either gone or changed out. All reminders of romance and forever were gone. Replaced with stiff, formal shots of him in uniform or the guards in formation. He figured the ones on his desk would be long gone as well. What she planned to do with them, he didn’t know.

What he _did_ know was that the bottom drawer on the left side of his desk would be empty. She’d already cleared the love notes out. He had found them tied together on the table with the signed paperwork that morning, along with her ring and the letter. However, he didn’t expect that, among the paperwork and empty frames, he would find one last thing.

The wooden frame had been a wedding gift, a joint project between Rapunzel and her mother. A plain frame painted in brilliant shades of blue and purple with the inscription, “First Page of Forever.” It used to sit on the nightstand as a perfect accent to the tinted lamp and flower vase that always rested there. Now, it was lying on top of his desk in pieces. The words had been smeared over with black paint and, by the splintered edges and lack of burn marks, he could tell this wasn’t a spell. It had been thrown against something. _Hard_.

Most people would be pissed, but he wasn’t. He couldn’t be. This was _his_ fault, after all. As much as he hated to admit it, _he_ was the one who twisted her heart around. 

He delicately picked up one of the pieces and went to move it aside, slowly setting it back down when he caught sight of the card underneath. He carefully picked up the simple piece of white stationary, flipped it over to find a purple border and six words that put a knife through his heart.

 _When did you stop loving me?_

Gabe leaned over, put his hands to the desk, the card still between his fingers as he took in a breath, whispered to himself, “I didn’t.”

He understood why she thought that. He didn’t give her a choice. They had both changed as a result of their struggle. She became more withdrawn, lost a little bit of spark every day that passed since that first appointment. And he…? He messed by not giving her what she needed.

He slumped into his chair. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out the ring. He still wasn’t sure what to do with it. Selling it felt wrong. He’d had it custom ordered _just_ for her. Took time to pick out the exact shades of amethyst for the hearts.

He sighed. Why couldn’t she have taken it with her and took care of it herself?

 _‘Because it was probably too much,’_ He thought, answering his own question in his head. She had already suffered enough and probably figured that if he paid for it, he needed to figure it out.

Or maybe it was meant to be a painful reminder of what he’d lost?

No. She wouldn’t do that.

As hurt as she was, the note she left conveyed that she didn’t want to hurt him. Even if it was his lack of communication that caused this. If he had just been honest from the start and told her when his feelings were changing, would it have been easier on her?

He sat back for a minute, decided that, no. It wouldn’t be easier. While being upfront would have saved her a lot of pain, it still wouldn’t have saved her heart. Not completely. He was her first everything. She trusted him so thoroughly and all he did was let her down, but not before giving her a whole decade to love, hope and dream alongside him.

Part of him felt like he wasted her time. Wondered if, given the chance to foresee the future, he would have even acted on his feelings all those years ago. It wasn’t that he regretted anything. Those happy years would always have a special place in his heart.

He didn’t hold any malice towards her. Hadn’t even completely fallen out of love with her. No matter how hard he tried to will it away, there was still a nagging part of him that was still in love. Knowing that he was the one who shattered her was almost enough to break him. Almost. On the other end, he knew that he made his choice, and that, as painful as it was, it was better they separate.

His biggest regret wasn’t falling in love, but how he let it end.

Gabe set the ring down. More than anything, he wanted Carla to be _okay_. Even if it took her months or years to get there, he wanted her to be happy again. He meant it when he told her that he hoped she’d eventually find someone to do all the little things that he couldn’t anymore. Despite the changes in his own feelings, he still thought highly of her. She had so many good qualities and so much to give. She _deserved_ to be loved by someone who could give her everything. Someone who kept his promises. 

The only comfort he had – though small – was that at least now they would both have the chance to reset their paths. They were still young. There was time to grieve and then move on. For them to both set out and rewrite their future.

Separately. 

It wouldn’t be tomorrow or even next week or next _year_. He couldn’t say exactly when it would be, but Gabe believed that eventually they would both rebuild their lives and be happier than they were now.

He _had_ to believe it.

It was all he had left.

* * *

_Girl, you think that I took advantage_

_It’s hard for you to understand it_

_I loved you, Girl_

_Right from the start_

_I never meant to break your heart_

_I couldn’t give you what you needed_

_Girl, I’m not ashamed to admit it_

_I was so wrong…_


	6. Always a Bridesmaid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part of the Mirror World AU's "True Love" timeline. 
> 
> As happy as she is to see her father and all her friends find their happily ever after, Carla can't quell the feeling that she's missing out on something, even after giving up on the idea of romance.

* * *

“And… there,” Elena said as she gave Carla’s teal sash one last tug, stepped back to make sure it was perfect. She then came forward again, teased as she set her hands on Carla’s shoulders, “Don’t you look pretty?”

Carla flicked her eyes from her bracelet up to her reflection. From her professionally done hair and coordinated makeup down to the perfectly tailored black dress with a flared skirt, she _did_ , in fact, look pretty on the outside. But inside she was screaming. Though, she didn’t let Elena know that. She just put on her best smile and thanked her for the compliment and coming to help her get ready.

Elena returned the smile. “You know I don’t mind. Now, hurry and find your shoes, you’ve got two sets of formals to get through.”

“Right,” Carla replied with a nod, doing her best to keep smiling as she turned to do just that and Elena left the room without a word. The moment Carla heard the door close, the corners of her mouth turned down. She grabbed the shoebox from the bed, stared at the heels inside. This was her third pair this year. Her third satin dress. Her third time watching someone else get their happy ever after.

She sighed as she sat, set the box back down. It wasn’t that she wasn’t happy for her father or any of her friends, she _was_. They deserved to be happy and find their forever.

First, it had been Elena and Mateo. They got married in a beautiful, albeit extravagant, ceremony that, despite its size, still managed to feel intimate. Then, there was Gabe and Naomi and the ceremony she forced herself to smile through but, once all the formal portraits and shots were done, she found an excuse to bail out. As pathetic as it was, there was still that tiny part of her that never healed from that rejection or the lesson she learned from it. Now, it was her father and Rafa’s turn. It was a wedding she would have never expected, but it was happening and she was thrilled for them both being able to find love after so long. And, next to all of that, she had two close friends planning weddings too.

The previous weekend, she’d gone to the Mirror World for her dress fitting for Anna’s wedding, which was just a few months away and had then seen the various designs that Rapunzel was busy dreaming up for her own wedding. By the time those two were wed by the middle of next year, she’d have _five_ dresses under her belt, none of which were wedding gowns. It was like her whole life the past two years was surrounded by couples and weddings. Dress fittings, cake tastings, menu planning sessions… she’d sat through at least one of everything and did her best to be happy. After all, her insecurities weren’t their problem. But she could never quite reconcile herself.

Her heart was split into two parts. The first one still held onto those old dreams she had about finding her own love story and kept nagging at her to try, try again. The other one, the one that dominated, had accepted that her dreams were just that, _dreams_. And dreams were meant for sleeping, not reality.

She sighed a second time as she glanced up at the clock and carefully pulled on her shoes. She still had some time before she was meant to meet up in the garden with Rafa and her bridesmaids. It was a little weird taking the position that would normally be the “Best Man” but Victor insisted that _she_ be at his side. Because of that, she’d dipped out of the bridal suite that morning and chose to get ready alone. Not only did she not feel like she belonged, but she quickly became numb to all of the hustle and bustle and happiness and, once she realised she was feeling that way, decided that it would be best to leave everyone be and not risk bringing them down with her own issues.

“Okay, Carla,” She told herself, walked up to the mirror. “This one is easy. It’s _Papa_ and you’re happy that he’s happy.” She took in a breath, put the smile back on her face. It was true. This would be much easier than Gabe and Naomi’s wedding. It was her _father_. Not the person she used to feel so much for. Of course, nothing was his fault. He never knew how she felt. Besides, matters of the heart weren’t things to be toyed with, not when they were that serious. But, knowing that didn’t make the pain of that lesson go away even after five years.

After one last look at herself, she decided that she was ready enough and headed out, stopping along the way to step out on one of the many balconies, this one overlooking the section of the garden where everything was set up. She leaned over the rail, looked down at where some of the palace staff were doing their final checks. It all turned out beautiful with everyone helping in their own way. They had decided on something small and private and relied on the help of family and friends to bring it all together, wanting everyone to feel included, even if their parts were small. It brought everyone together, and they were all proud of the work they had done for this well-deserved happily ever after.

Despite her attempts to push the thought away all day, Carla couldn’t help wondering when it would be her turn. She then frowned at the idea, shook her head slowly to shake the thought off. It wasn’t a “when” with her, it was an “if.” “If” leaning towards “never” with the way her love life was going.

“There you are,” Victor said, his voice cutting through her thoughts.

“Oh, sorry. I got distracted,” Carla said as she stood straight, one hand still on the rail as she looked over it again. “It’s really come together, hasn’t it?”

Victor felt his eyebrow raise just slightly. While there was no denying his daughter’s acting skills – both from the way she grew up and the extra training she received as a theatre understudy – she’d always been terrible at lying to him. Her straight posture and smile indicated nothing but joy and love for the day and events to come, but there was something small and subtle in her eyes that told him everything wasn’t okay.

He sighed, stepped over and set a hand on her back, “What is it, _Mija_?”

“What do you mean?” She asked, blinking her eyes innocently and hoping that her father bought the act. She wanted to kick herself for letting anything but happiness to come through, because she was happy that he was getting a second chance at forever.

“I mean, what’s going on with you?”

Knowing she was caught; all Carla could think to do was cast her eyes off to the side. “Can we talk about this later? Maybe after you get back from your honeymoon?”

“And hope that I’ll forget to ask when I get back?”

“I just don’t want to ruin your day.”

He gave her a soft smile, hoped that it would help to reassure her as he brought both hands up to her shoulders. “There’s nothing you can do to ruin the day. Except not tell me the truth.”

Carla bit her lip, considered her options – not that she had many. Blowing him off clearly wasn’t a choice. He’d seen right through her smile and not saying anything would likely mess things up more than keeping quiet. Yet, she also didn’t feel like she could tell him the whole truth. Not when it was the exact opposite of what everyone else was feeling that day.

“Carla,” Victor pressed gently, rubbed her shoulders.

She sighed. The more time she wasted contemplating, the less time they would have to get the formal portraits and last-minute preparations done. Finally, she admitted, “It… Well – It’s not that I’m not happy for you, I am. But…”

“But?”

Carla could only sigh, her heart suddenly sinking in her chest. It was a such a simple question. One that actually had an equally simply answer. However, she couldn’t bring herself to say it, not even to her father. She sighed a second time, mustered up the strength to say something. To put it in a way that would be truthful but also vague.

“I mean it when I say I’m happy for you, but – ” She trailed off again, the words getting stuck in her throat. It felt like her tongue was tied in knots even as she continued, “But, I can’t help being sad at the fact that the same kind of happiness doesn’t seem meant for me.”

She paused another moment, explained further when she caught the curious confusion in her father’s gaze. “Look around, Papa! Everyone’s getting married like it’s as easy as picking wildflowers! The past few years my life has been filled with wedding plans and cake flavours and flowers and worrying about everyone else’s happiness!”

Victor’s face fell at those last words. He knew something had seemed off about Carla the past few weeks, but had he been so oblivious that he hadn’t noticed she was unhappy? He hated the idea. One of the major things he wanted in life was for his daughter to be happy and knowing that she might not be hurt him.

He asked, “Are you _not_ happy?”

Carla startled. _That_ was a question she hadn’t been expecting and one that she hadn’t thought much about if she was honest with herself. After a moment, she said, “Of course I am. How can I not be? I have a stable home and a family that’s growing, a decent job and plenty of friends to keep me company.”

It wasn’t a lie. She supposed she was happy to some degree. Or, rather, there wasn’t much for her to complain about with how good her life had been going.

“But there’s still something missing, isn’t there?”

She hadn’t said it directly, but Victor could sense it in the way she described her life as full of weddings and other people’s happiness. He didn’t doubt that she _was_ happy in many ways, but now that they were talking about it, he saw that the lack of a love life bothered her. As a child, she had been enamoured with his and Valeria’s love story and had spent hours planning and playing out weddings for her stuffed animals. When she got older, she turned to books and novels, probably dreaming as she read them of her own fairy-tale. But now, she seemed disillusioned.

When she didn’t answer, he tried again, this time with a different wording. “You still want your fairy-tale, don’t you?”

The second the words were out of his mouth, she felt like screaming and it took everything in her to not do just that. Of course, she still wanted her fairy-tale. She wanted to know what it was like to fall in love and have someone actually _return_ your feelings. She wanted to be someone’s everything, to feel the same way that all of the heroines in her old novels did and experience the same utter bliss of happily ever after. But, as much as she wanted all of that deep down, she’d already learned her lesson. It was pathetic and she knew it, but after actually letting some of those feelings for someone in and allowing them build up so much a few years ago only to find out that he not only didn’t return them, but wanted someone else who she knew was a much better match and person in general, she decided that she couldn’t do it again. 

Finally, she admitted, “I’m over that. Those kinds of stories aren’t real. Not for girls like me.”

Again, she didn’t lie. She fully believed what she was saying. It wasn’t that she didn’t believe in love as a concept. She knew it was real and had seen it play out time and time again for not only her friends, but her colleagues and even random people on the street whenever she ran errands. It seemed like everyone had someone except her.

Victor blinked, took a minute to process everything she said. “What do you mean girls like you?”

Carla sighed, returned to the railing. “I just mean that love and marriage aren’t for everyone and I happen to be one of the unlucky ones.”

Victor stepped over to her side. “You don’t know that. You’re still young, Carla. You have time.”

She resisted the urge to huff at him, instead channelled that energy into her hand as her fingers curled into the fabric of her skirt. Sure, twenty-three _was_ young, but with everyone else around her either getting married or in long-term relationships with a proposal likely to follow, she felt so out of place. So… _behind_.

Sensing the tension, Victor returned his hand to her shoulder, decided to ignore the hand of hers that was fisted in her dress. “You know, I didn’t marry your mother until I was thirty and she was twenty-six, and now I’m here, old as I am, getting married again.”

Carla pursed her lips at those words, thought carefully about her response. While she was beyond happy for her father and wouldn’t deny that, if anyone deserved to find love, it was him, she also knew deep in her heard that it just wasn’t in her cards. There had only been one person she ever let herself feel that way for and whom she wanted so much to like her back, but he just didn’t. He never had and never would.

Of course, it was his right to pick someone else. Feelings couldn’t be forced. Even _attempting_ to force it would be wrong and she knew that no matter how much she liked him, even now.

Unfortunately, that meant she was going to be stuck in an endless circle of bridesmaid dresses and making everyone else’s dreams come true, at least for the next few years. She didn’t see much beyond that. Didn’t really want to. She only hoped that, by the time this seemingly endless parade of weddings was over, she would be _okay_ with herself and her circumstances. Maybe if she kept telling herself that being single really wasn’t that bad, she’d eventually come to terms with it. But, she knew she couldn’t tell her father any of that, not right now. It was too much to unpack and she didn’t want to argue. Instead, she put on a smile, decided that the best course of action was to agree in some sense, even if it meant lying to herself and him.

“I guess you’re right,” She settled on. “Life does take a lot of turns. Who knows? Maybe one day love _will_ be in my cards.”

“I believe that,” Victor reassured, moving his hand down to gently rub her back. “You’re beautiful and strong and smart and so many other things. And one day, someone _will_ see that.”

 _‘Whatever you say, Papa,’_ Carla thought, resting the urge to huff again. He _had_ to say that. He was her _father._ All fathers thought their daughters were the most beautiful. But it also wasn’t the first time she’d heard it. Elena had told her the same thing a few months back when she finally had to admit why she was faking her way through planning Gabe and Naomi’s wedding. And just like she did then, she simply smiled at the compliment.

It was easier than admitting how she never connected with any of her dates, no matter how well-intentioned they had been – Well, aside from the blind date that told her he’d been expecting someone prettier. She’d taken a break after that. Dating was exhausting and pointless, especially when she knew she wasn’t going to get anything long term out of it.

Victor sighed to himself silently. He knew she wasn’t convinced. Perhaps it was intuition, but having raised her, he could always see when she was putting on a façade. But he also wasn’t sure what else he could say. He hated that his little girl seemed so unhappy about this but had to concede that it was a problem he couldn’t fix. It would be up to her whether she ever wanted to let someone in. After a moment of silence, he suggested, “We should get going. I know they’re expecting you for portraits.”

“Huh?” Carla turned, his voice shaking her out of her thoughts. “Oh, right.”

He kept his hand on her back as they headed towards the doors, gave her a gentle push in the right direction when they crossed the doorframe. And, though the gaping crack in her heart did not close up – nor did she think it ever would – something about the familiar comfort her father’s touch had always represented sent the smallest spot of warmth through her even as they separated and she went on to meet the painter. The feeling was then further aided by the familiar faces that spared her quick, but genuine smiles as they bustled about and got into position, all of them conveying their happiness at seeing her.

Giving them a small smile of her own in return, Carla let out a tiny sigh. And, despite herself, this time, the effort to push away the thought that romance wasn’t for her seemed somehow less overwhelming than it had been before. At least for now.


	7. Can You Hear Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part of the Mirror World AU's "True Love" timeline. 
> 
> Amidst all the light and happiness of the Navidad Festival, Carla can't help the lingering sadness that remains in her heart. As much as she loves the season, she also feels reminded of the one thing she doesn't -- and might never -- have.

* * *

_Last night_

_I took a walk in the snow_

_Couples hold hands_

_Places to go_

_Seems like everyone but me is in love_

_Santa, can you hear me?_

* * *

Carla smacked her tamborita, watched as the purple sparks ran up the length of the ballroom walls and up to the chandeliers, the lights immediately dimming, the romantic atmosphere they made matching the tone of the room perfectly as soft, slow music flowed from the band’s instruments. She sighed as she slipped the drum wand back into her skirt’s hidden pocket, then made the mistake of glancing around the room and seeing the way that everyone on the floor was coupled up.

Her eyes first fell on Elena and Mateo whose own eyes were focused only on each other; their thoughts certainly full of the same thing. On the other side of the room were her Abuelos. They were the “definition of relationship goals” as Anna had once said and were still so in love even after decades together. Then there was her father, who seemed to be finding a wonderful connection with Rafa de Alva. And finally, near them were Gabe and Naomi, who were so clearly into each other.

From dancing with him before, Carla knew Gabe wasn’t always the best dancer, but with Naomi, his movements were effortless. Only more evidence they were a good match, she supposed. As much as it pained her heart to admit it, it was the truth. They truly belonged together.

It wasn’t that she wasn’t happy for them. She was. All of her friends finding happiness with each other was amazing. It was like something out of those romance novels she’d stopped reading since that day over a year ago. The day she learned that the person she’d let herself catch feelings for didn’t and never would feel any sort of way about her.

 _‘At least not romantically,’_ She thought.

It was a thought that should have dulled the ache in her heart. After all, she knew he still cared about her as a friend. But because she’d hoped for so long that those feelings would turn romantic, it made little difference. And, despite it being months ago, it still stung whenever she thought about it. Not that anyone ever knew how she used to feel or how she hated being their fifth wheel or how, even with everything good in her life, she still had a deep hole in her heart from that night.

Carla felt her lips turn down, let out a sigh as she turned away and quietly slipped out the door. With her last duty of the night complete, there was no reason for her to stay and watch everyone else dance the night away in the arms of their lover. It was a feeling she had felt only once and one that she had held close until she learned that it was nothing but a stupid girl letting a crush go too far in her head. Now she wasn’t sure she would ever feel it again.

It wasn’t that she hadn’t tried. She’d been on several dates since then but never quite felt that connection she’d always read about. One she’d been wishing doubly hard for since the holiday season began. It was stupid and cheesy, but part of her wanted that ‘miracle holiday romance’ she’d seen in so many of those Mirror World movies and novels sold around this time of year. Unfortunately, she hadn’t even been able to secure a date for the festival.

“Love under the lights for everyone _but_ me,” She muttered, kicked her foot in frustration.

She’d thought so many times of not even attending the festival given the theme, but ultimately caved for her father and Elena. The former had even gotten her an early gift in the form of a wrap to match the midnight blue gown Elena had given her the previous year.

With a sigh, she pushed open one of the outside doors and started down a small path, stopping when she caught her reflection in one of the wide windows. On the outside, she was beautiful. At least that’s what her friends told her. Perfectly layered dress, sparkling jewellery, and every hair in place even as it fell down her back. But inside, she was screaming. If she was so pretty, then why had she been turned down by every guy she asked to the festival? And why hadn’t she been able to get the attention of the _one_ person she’d been pining after for months?

“Because you didn’t open your damn mouth,” She reminded herself in a whisper, turned away from the window where she could see, along with her own reflection, everyone still dancing happily, thinking as she did so, _‘And because she’s even prettier.’_

In the back of her mind, she knew that even if she had gotten the courage to confess, it wouldn’t have made a difference. The looks that they gave each other on the fateful night in Norberg and the ones they’d had while dancing together all night spoke to the deep feelings they’d been harbouring for a long time.

Her steps finally halted when she came to the end of one of the paths. She set a hand on the balcony railing, turned her gaze out to the city that was awash in the calm, cosy lighting of the holiday and wondered if people were still out celebrating like those in the palace. If not, she imagined they were probably warm at home with their loved ones, maybe sitting by the fire and sharing treats and gifts. She smiled at the thought. One of the only things she was looking forward to was doing the same with her father for the first time in awhile now that he’d come back to stay permanently. It would be just the two of them, as it should be.

Yet, even with being happy about that, she was still missing that one special thing she’d wished for harder than anything. The one that she even dared to write down and hand over to that mall Santa. She had felt so stupid standing in that line with all those little kids, especially after she and the Princesses of Harmony had _just_ taken their traditional picture with Santa a few days before, but once she handed it over, she felt like a weight had been lifted. Sure, he’d probably throw it away, but just letting it out somehow felt good. She couldn’t tell any of her friends or even her father about her feelings but writing them down and telling a stranger had been surprisingly easy. The grandfatherly man didn’t know her, nor would he ever recognise her face again, but he’d still been sympathetic when she admitted what she was missing and that, combined with the anonymity, made her feel better for a while.

But now, after the failed marketing outing with friends that morning where they all paired off holding hands like everyone else in the city centre and then having to sit on the side-lines through most of the romantic-themed festival because it felt like everyone but her had brought a date to dance with, those feelings she thought she let go of again crashed down hard as she turned her gaze to the sky, a single tear rolling down her cheek when she found the brightest one.

“Mama…” She whispered, clasped her hands together. “Santa… Whoever else is up there… Can you hear me? If you can, then _please_ , someone – anyone…”

Unable to continue, Carla let her voice drop off. She closed her eyes, imagined that someone _could_ hear both what she had said and the words she left unspoken. That, when she woke up the next morning, the thing she wanted most would be waiting for her somewhere. Perhaps with a cute little note saying where to find it.

Taking a deep breath, Carla willed herself to go on. Her wish would never be granted if she didn’t finish it. “All I want is one thing. I want someone to love. Someone to hold. Someone who will make me his everything. Let me know that my true love is out there. Let me believe in romance again. _Please_ ,” She begged, the last word followed by a silent sob.

She’d been holding back all night, but now, out in this private corner, she gave up, let her head fall into her hands. It was pathetic and she knew it, but Carla couldn’t help the lingering sadness that had been hanging over her all week.

As genuinely happy as she had been through the baking and festival planning and shopping, there was still a big part missing. She wanted someone to cuddle up to just like her friends had. Someone to dance the night away with and to struggle over finding the perfect gift to say, “I love you.”

She was tired of sparkless dates and empty dreams. She wanted – no, _needed_ – a real person. Someone to hold her late at night and give her his whole heart. To give her heart to someone and know it would be well taken care of as they shared a life _together_ was something she always wanted. Even after dealing with awful, shady thieves and scores of women who told her love was a farce, she still kept wishing. She wasn’t ready to give that up. Not yet. As bad as the rejection still stung – along with the realisation that she never had a chance with someone like Gabe – there was still a part deep in her heart that longed for the happily ever after she knew she wasn’t meant for.

She looked up at the stars again, knew that unless some higher, all-knowing power had heard her plea, the odds of it being resolved were next to none.

Still, she wanted to believe.

“I know I don’t deserve it, but please,” Carla whispered just as a soft breeze came through. She took it as a sign that maybe, hopefully, someone was listening.

“Make my dream come true.”

* * *

_All I want is one thing_

_Tell me my true love is here_

_He’s all I want_

_Just for me_

_Underneath my Christmas tree_

_I’ll be waiting here_

_Santa, that’s my only wish this year_


End file.
